Drowning in Lavendar

www.kentucky.com/latest_news/story/1011029.html

Gah. Censorship. Look if you arent the child's parent you have no right to remove the hold on their patron account and deny them that book. Heck you have no right as a patron, much less a library worker, to deny other patrons a book which the library has deemed acceptable. The ALA has rules in place for these challenges as do most libraries.

I'll just leave these final thoughts
As Supreme Court Justice William J. Brennan, Jr., in Texas v. Johnson, said most eloquently:

If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable.

If we are to continue to protect our First Amendment, we would do well to keep in mind these words of Noam Chomsky:

If we don't believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don't believe in it at all.

Or these words of Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas ("The One Un-American Act." Nieman Reports, vol. 7, no. 1, Jan. 1953, p. 20):
Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.

I'm kinda sad. I will be husbandless for 9 days. I'm glad for him because he gets to go see his mother but i'm going to miss him horribly.

thank you.

Dulce Et Decorum Est
by WILFRED OWEN

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori

i got the paper done. Still trying to catch up on the readings i missed from the issues of earlier in the term. back to the boooks.

Poll #1475165 Which ad should i use for the paper on media portrayals?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

Which ad?

I have to do a critique of an advertisement for the WGS class i am taking this term. I am torn between these two at this point. I can write on either but i'm having trouble choosing. Help?

http://www.smbc-theater.com/?id=175

NSFW retake on the whole who's on first routine

http://weatherpixie.com/displayimg.php?place=KEUG&type=F&trooper=33

It was an accident
But I chose to let it ride
It was a year before we planned
But we started to adjust
It was non viable
But it was someone I have to grieve
It was a necessary surgery
But it took more out of me than just cells
It was a chain of causality
But it will affect me forever.

if people want to be helpful to me right now... I'm going to be housebound this weekend just for health sake. I would love people to come over and even possibly help clean a little because i'm behind in that and will be unable to do any this weekend. even if you can't clean i'd love to see you. food would also be a goodness as i am the household cook and well..... this whole surgery thing really puts a crimp in that.

I got to see the ObGyn today. he says that he's thinking it's just a miscarriage that just hasnt happened yet. he says def not corneal (ultrasound techs/radiologysts misunderstood the visuals. I just have a small oddity in my uterus which they misread) and unlikely to be even partly molar because there was/is a placenta. What he said it looks like is that the yolk sac decided against continuing at about 6 weeks and the placenta was dumb or never got the news and continued to grow. I'm scheduled for a DnC friday morning to clear it out. I really really thank everyone who has said they were keeping me in their thoughts/prayers/positive energy/universal harmonics... it means a lot that people care.

( Read more... ) If my life were a sitcom it would be strange.

All my friends are mean!

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
kireishojo goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Space Pirate amazon ninja catgirl.
admnaismith tricks you! You get a broken balloon.
biomekanic tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
carwoman tricks you! You get a block of wood.
crystallinegirl gives you 3 milky white orange-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
damienps gives you 6 light yellow licorice-flavoured nuggets.
elfie_chan tricks you! You lose 7 pieces of candy!
gatorbaitkitteh tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
kajafoglio tricks you! You get an eraser.
karjack tricks you! You get a scratched CD.
madrona gives you 17 dark green blueberry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
kireishojo ends up with 18 pieces of candy, a broken balloon, a scratched CD, a block of wood, an eraser, and a scratched CD.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

in terms of happy and sad.

first off i am no longer with child.
If it once was a baby it no longer is. What is more worrying is the fact that there is a small clump of cells they spotted where the falopian tubes meet the uterus. It could be remnants of the miscarrige which would be the best posibility. Or it could be a corneal pregnancy which is non-viable (no heartbeat) which would need to be removed with a DnC. Or worst possibility it is a molar pregnancy which requires DnC and bloodwork periodically for the next year because it throws off hormones that can trigger cancers.

I'll be going in to see a ObGyn as early as monday because they need to figure this out for the proper steps. I know i'm going to miscarry or have it DnC but i'm in limbo for now. also if i miscarry over the weekend i get to visit the ER because if it is option B or C it needs to be treated differently in terms of care.

I wish this were a bad dream but it isnt.

second off.... well i dont have a second other than that i'm numb. it doesnt seem real yet because i've still got that thing which was a potentiality within me. i'm stuck in this place of limbo where i'm walking a tightrope over a pit and i can't see the net anymore.

Had to trade with a coworker for the morning shift because i had plans to be at a book signing in portland at powells at 7:30. which meant to get seats i had to be there at 6:30. which ment i had to be out the door and on the road with our roomie by 4:30 at the latest. which ment i couldnt work my friday shift of 1-5pm.

The signing in question was for the cake wrecks book. I also participated in the little contest they had which was to bring a miniturized cake wreck. On a cupcake. I did the baby carrot jockeys, not mowhawk babies because i couldnt find those figures. I also took lots of pictures which i will be posting a good chunk of under a lj-cut for the sake of my friends list. It was fun and nice to go to but tiring because of the long trip. I'm sorry that i didnt call my portland local friends but i really didnt have the time or spare energy to elongate the trip any further.

So pictures
( are here )
So that was what ate my friday from about 4pm ish on. It was loads of fun but quite tiring.

You meet someone who exemplifies kindness. I have met so few of those people online. One that i have met who i would consider a friend is going through a tough time of Lot sized proportions. I have no spare money to give but i can give the option of letting more people know by mentioning it here. I know my friends are mostly as poor as I but when the chips are down every cent counts.

http://helpthehamiltons.wordpress.com/

please at least look. Bread cast upon the waters.....

I love my husband but there are times i want to hang him by his heels.

I'm sure there are times when he feels the same way about me.

it's a good thing we love each other.

1. The disability I live with are:
Asperger's syndrome

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:
2003

3. But I had symptoms since:
birth

4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is:
learning my limits. Learning when i just can no longer cope with the stimulus.

5. Most people assume:
That i'm a geek or maladjusted. sometimes they think i'm shy or anxious.

6. The hardest part about mornings is:
that they exist. i'm a swing shifter by nature.

7. My favorite medical TV show is:
i don't really watch many medical shows. bout the only one i can think i have watched regularly was scrubs.

8. A gadget I couldn't live without is:
books.

9. The hardest part about nights is:
nights are easy

10. Each day I take [?] pills & vitamins.
1-3 sometimes the sensory overload leads to migraines...

11. Regarding alternative treatments, I:
am willing to try almost anything once. although the friend who tried to get me to eat a whole bunch of cilantro to chelate found out that i do have limits on this.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible disability and a visible one, I would choose:
I'm very lucky that the disability I have probably won't kill me in most places in the world. sometimes it would be nice to not have my issues shrugged off as less important because of the level of correction i have scieved though.

13. Regarding working and career:
I cannot do a front desk job. as much as i like to be helpful trying to do so while also trying to not give the wrong social clues wears me out so much faster. I would love a behind the scene help job. or even the style of job i do now where i only really have to be sociable with my co-workers.

14. People would be surprised to know:
I feel hurt every time i fail to correctly gauge and respond in social situations. I worry that every time i fail in this it drives my friends and those i care for further away from me. I feat that my eccentricity will one day fall just outside of acceptable and i will be hauled away for being 'other'

15. The hardest thing to accept about my reality is:
90% of the people i meet never notice there is anything wrong with me. I see all my failings and imperfections in stark relief and i'm always surprised when others do not.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my disability was:
I try to not let it limit me.

17. The commercials about my disability.
I once saw a commercial about autism but not my end of the spectrum.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed:
being able to pretend it was only eccentricity and that i would eventually be able to work past it.

19. It was really hard to give up:
my hopes of normality.

20. A new hobby I've taken up since my diagnosis is:
i can't think of any.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again, I would:
Normality is impossible to qualtify.

22. My disability has taught me:
That my otherness is not my imagination, nor my fault.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say (about my disability) that gets under my skin is:
That because i am married and have held a long term relationship that i must not actally be aspie.

24. But I love it when people:
are willing to adjust to my sensorarily screwy days.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:
In the end this too will pass.

26. When someone is diagnosed I like to tell them:
well i havent met any newly diagnosed aspies to pass words of wisdom on to.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with a disabilty is:
How little life changed for me. but at the same time how much it changed.

I got in a poetry mood today on the bus. Here are the snippets of poetry.

Now Nausea strikes
worship the porcelain god
buhbye prenatals

Expanding belly
My waist like a balloon grows
and no pants will snap
but this will not crimp my style
thank god for all my dresses


hmmm you'd think i was pregnant or something ;)

I made popcorn balls.... for the first time i can remember.

I had moassas on hand and so i went for the simplest recipe i could find for that. They look a little funny in the brown shade they acrued but they also look tasty.

I wanted to try something different with my starter. I had it out and prepped because due to the addition of the AC to the household it is now no longer cat-meltingly hot in the entire house.

I decided to make pretzels. Soft pretzels, with cheese sauce, and with multiple flours.
I had no recipe so i played with google and found two sites which i used as references for the making of the project.
http://foppish-baker.blogspot.com/2005/12/sourdough-pretzels.html
http://sourdoughmonkeywrangler.blogspot.com/2007/01/logical-pretzels.html
There are pictures under the cut.

( Read more... )

We have AC! It looks a little funny but it works.

So we were donated a secondhand AC. We've had a comedy of errors in trying to get it set up. we just keep flubbing the measurements on the plexiglass spacer that the complex insists be used. Also it needs a stabilizer which might be considered a fire safety hazard. But i'm really really regretting the time it's taking to get it set up because it's a roasting temp in the house and i dont need to be in an oven when i have a bun in the oven.